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Couple overcoming a challenging moment in their relationship and growing together

Turning the 'Oh Sh*t' Moment into Relationship Growth: Navigating Missteps Together

Jun 22, 2022

Let’s talk about what I like to call "the OH SHIT" moment...

Have you ever had that experience where everything is going along great with a new man,

He’s checking all the boxes, you’re meeting each other’s families maybe, talking about the future…

And then BAM - something bad happens. He F*CKS UP.

He hurts you, he does something, he says something that makes you pull away...

And you realize that maybe this really isn’t everything you’d ever dreamed about wanting…?

Your heart wants to cut it off - WE’RE DONE. IT”S OVER. Your ego comes in saying "ABORT ABORT! Protect yourself from any more potential hurt…! Come back to your comfort zone of what you can depend on, which is being single on your own..."

But I want to share a really important opportunity in this moment…

That when done correctly can make a massive change in the outcome of this entire situation.

Sometimes things need to be cut off abruptly - absolutely. Cheating, lying, stealing, abuse… These are non-negotiables that absolutely deserve no second chances.

However, if your man hasn’t messed up in one of those ways, but he has done something that doesn’t feel good to you, it’s really important to be careful not to jump right to BLACK OR WHITE, OVER & DONE WITH.

Sometimes there is a really beautiful opportunity to sit in the gray zone.

And so before you fully fully decide to cut him off forever and burn all of his pictures, I would ask you to really consider and think about: is there a gray zone that I could be okay with?

Is there a space for me to be able to still consider this relationship but not give him exclusive VIP access to me until he’s proven himself consistently?

Because heres the thing, Teal:

A man knows when he’s messed up… he can tell from your reaction that you’re hurt. But the way you choose to hold space for this mess up can actually create a deeper bond and more loving respect from him if approached from the right space.

Because let’s face it, men sometimes do mess things up. And they don't do everything perfectly and they don't do everything right.

And that’s where it takes a really strong woman to come with grace and compassion and very strongly say, “that is not okay. This is not how I want to be treated. And yeah, that was a f*cked up thing. It really hurt me and that is not okay. But I'm willing to give you a chance to make this right and show me the type of man I know that you really are”.

I know I've definitely had to do this with Spencer early on - to set that tone.

It’s important not to write them off for good after one “oopsie” but give them a second chance give them some some compassion in this moment.

Sometimes men need that “OH SHIT” moment to realize that they really messed up - and that they almost lost the best thing that ever happened to them.

When we show them that we are not going to put up with disrespect, but we’re also not going to shut them out completely, we open up space for them to STEP UP and become the kind of man we want / need them to be.

It can be really difficult, but SO rewarding when we decide we going to hold our strength and hold our value, but still give them the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to right their wrongs.

And this is where the beauty of that strong feminine essence comes through - If you can paint the vision of the type of relationship that you really want to be in and and share that you would love to see from him, then he's able to decide for himself, and say:

"Okay, yes, I want to step up and be that man for you."

OR -

No, I can't be that man for you... and then YOU have the power and understanding to recognize it's time to truly let go.

There is beauty in being able to give some one a second chance...

But it must come with compassion, love, and a place of strength...

Not from a place of weakness and just wanting him back.

This is about setting the tone of the kind of HIGH VALUE WOMAN that you are - communicating that:

"Yes, this is the kind of woman I am.
This is what I expect.
This is what I require to be in a relationship with me.
Is that something that you really feel that you can provide to me?"

That is where you step into your power, and command the type of respect that naturally inspires him to STEP UP and become your king.

To learn more - download my free guide: The 8 Success Codes to Become Irresistibly Magnetic to Men here:

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